Taylor and Liana … sweetness personified!

An article in yesterday's Wall Street Journal called "Their First 'Baby' Was a Dog; How Will It Handle the Real Deal?" caught my eye. It described a growing trend toward conscious efforts to make sure that newborn babies are welcomed into the family by the family dog. Expectant parents are taking their dogs to behaviorists and trainers to learn how to make sure that Fido behaves himself around the new baby and doesn't show any signs of resentfulness or aggression. I think this is a wonderful idea that will probably prevent many dogs from being booted out of their "loving" homes after baby's arrival.

My lovely, soulful dog Rowdy suffered through this betrayal at the age of 7. His "parents" had raised him from the time he was a puppy, and from my vantage point as a neighbor, he had a pretty nice life. His folks used to have gatherings with friends in the front yard, and Rowdy was always right there with them. But then they started having babies, and suddenly they had no more time for Rowdy. Apparently, Rowdy also committed the unpardonable sin of peeing on a baby's blanket (which, in canine lingo, could actually be a sign of protection!), and for this, he was unceremoniously kicked out. His former "parents" won't even come to visit him, though they live only 20 minutes away and I have asked them to come see him. Rowdy was depressed for months, and three years later people still say he has a sad look about him.

So when I read in this Wall Street Journal article about one dog who was simply given away after the new baby's arrival, it really bothered me. There were other aspects of the article that rubbed me the wrong way as well. One trainer was quoted as telling parents, "When the baby comes, you are going to look at your dog for the first time as an animal. You will feel different about Fluffy." Huh? Why? Some of the trainers in the article advocate an approach that seems to me doomed to failure: ignoring the dog more, banning the dog from the bed, relegating the dog to his "doggie den." One client's attitude was summed up this way: "One difference between her two 'babies,' she says, is that the dog 'can be legally locked in a crate.'"

No wonder so many of these new parents fail to cultivate a loving relationship between their newborns and their dogs. Who wouldn't be resentful to suddenly be treated like a second-class citizen? It seems pretty clear to me that dogs just want one thing: to be given the same level of affection and attention that they had prior to the baby's arrival. And any couple who is not ready to step up to the plate to provide that to their loyal canine family member probably should never have gotten a dog to begin with.

Dixie loved to help Ian clean his plate―and his toes!

However, never having had any children of my own, I thought I had better consult with some of my coworkers who had dogs when they became moms just to see if my theory is correct. I asked them what they did to prepare their dogs for the arrival of their babies, whether or not there were any problems, and, if so, what they did about them. I'll let them describe their experiences in their own words.

Chrissy: "I had Dixie (she was a beagle) when I gave birth to Brianna. I made sure to bring home clothing from the hospital so that Dixie could smell her before she came and I did not allow Brianna to pull Dixie's tail or ears. We didn't dress Dixie up or do stuff like that with her before we had Bri, so we maintained the same level of interaction and affection. When I took Dixie for a walk, I put Brianna in her stroller and took them both. It was good for both of them, too. In other words, we didn't have any adjustment issues. … I think it's so sad when people throw their animal to the side …. I think it's a matter of giving your animals space (and a place to escape to) and letting your toddlers know that the animals deserve respect and personal space. Just because you have a cute little kid that wants to pet the [doggy] doesn't mean that he or she should be allowed to."

Kathy: "I let the dogs have a good sniff of everything as we brought it in―cribs, clothes, etc., so they knew something was up. I never had any problem at all―and I introduced three babies to many different dogs and cats. When we first brought each baby home, we let the dogs sniff them as we held them. The dogs were very curious but immediately took to all the babies. Very gentle always and sweet too. And by the time baby begins flinging food from the high chair, it’s a full-fledged love affair! I think a lot of it has to do with the attitude of the parents. It was all very low-key, and we completely expected acceptance from the dogs—which we then got. They never showed signs of jealousy or territoriality in any way. "

Amanda: "Taylor has been around to welcome both of my kids. … Taylor had been 'the baby' for four years before Liana was born and I wondered if he would have any issues once she arrived. Since she was my first child, I read all the pregnancy books and almost all of them had information about bringing a baby home to a house where there was a dog. But most talked of allergies and cleanliness and only touched on the topic of how to prepare your dog for the change. One book said to try to get your dog familiar with the scent of the baby before actually bringing the baby into the house. After Liana was born, the hospital put a little hat on her head that she wore for most of the day. That night, my husband went home to pick some things up and took the hat with him. When he got home, he greeted Taylor with the same love and excitement as usual and offered the hat to him to smell. He also left it in Taylor's bed when he returned to the hospital. Other than that, we did not do much preparing. When we brought Liana home, we slowly introduced her to Taylor and he was fine. We just continued to make sure that he got as much love from us as he always had so there would be no resentment. There really were no issues."

It looks like the key is just to continue to value and respect Bowser for the special being that he is and to make sure that he has no reason to feel neglected or jealous.

As Kathy put it, "My son was more jealous than the dogs were when I brought Molly home, but I didn’t consider getting rid of him."